


[C] Heavy Arms

by OneofWebs



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood and Gore, Character Death, Established Relationship, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Limbs, Titans, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29806131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneofWebs/pseuds/OneofWebs
Summary: When Titans attack, Levi knows that he should fight back, but he can't get Jenna out of his head. He has to find her, no matter what it means.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 3





	[C] Heavy Arms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ourloveisgone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourloveisgone/gifts).



> mind the tags: descriptions of blood, gore, and death ahead.

Nobody had seen the attack coming, not in the dead of night. At the first sound of trouble, everyone scrambled and ran, grabbing for their gear and their hope that this was going to turn out alright. Hearts pounded, sweat already formed at the tips of brows. Fear took over the camp before anyone had time to even breathe. The titans were coming. The titans had already _come_. They were right there, swinging their massive limbs through the supplies, through the buildings.

People were going to die if they didn’t do something. Anyone with the proper gear jumped into action, and their one true hope was that Levi was with them: humanity’s greatest defender. The titan killer. He had single-handedly brought down more titans than any other survey corprs soldier, and it earned him his fame, his position, and also his fear. Levi knew the consequences for failure, because they hung over his head in the worst way possible. Death was around any corner, but for the first time in a long time, Levi found himself not carrying.

As he broke through the front door, making his way outside, Levi had exactly one thing on his mind. It wasn’t humanity, and it wasn’t survival. Jenna. All he could think about was Jenna: her smile, the way she laughed, and how his own stubbornness meant she wasn’t with _him_. She wasn’t in his room, in his bed where he could have ensured she was safe. He’d only just gotten back from an extended scout through the forests; the only thing he should have wanted was Jenna as close as possible, but the consequences for being found out could be serious.

He was her captain, and she was just a soldier. Not a very good soldier, at that, though she’d managed to stay alive this long. That was all Levi could hold to as he shot himself into the air, that somehow, Jenna had nine lives. As long as she hadn’t gone through them all, already, then Levi wound find her safe and unharmed. Still, the fear was there, and he knew the fear was going to make him clumsy. At the very least, it meant he was going to make stupid decisions.

Instead of going straight for the titans like he should have, Levi turned into the camp, towards the barracks where Jenna had gone back to sleep that night. He should have kept her close. Levi flew there faster than he’d gone anywhere in his life, only barely managing to touch ground before he was running inside. Consequences be damned, Levi didn’t care who saw him rushing around like a mad man, trying desperately to find one, singular soldier.

“Jenna!” He shouted, rushing through the halls, the rooms.

Finding nothing was the worst terror in his life. He should have known that he would find nothing, because Jenna wasn’t one to cower in fear or hide from her duty. She knew what the survey corps did, and she knew that applied even so close to home. They fought titans, even if it meant their death. Soldiers died so often that people almost expected it, these days, and why shouldn’t they. Even if the best of the best should have been out here fighting, so many of them went off to the military police because they _could_.

It wasn’t right; it wasn’t fair. Signing up to die wasn’t some noble plight either, so Levi couldn’t blame them even if he wanted to. As long as he could find Jenna safe, that was all that mattered, politics and heroics be damned. She was all that mattered, so Levi ran from the barracks in his next desperate attempt to find her.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t waste another minute looking for her, not with the havoc these creatures had already wrought. There were three of them, and three of them was too much for Levi to hope that the rest of the group could take care of it on their own. They _needed_ him, and knowing Jenna, that was where he would find her, anyway. Trying to help, trying to take care of people even if it meant risking her own life. It was one of the things that had attracted him to her in the first place: that selflessness.

Levi flew through the sky once more in his haste to get there fast enough. He’d already assumed the worse, and not knowing what was happening one way or the other was too much for him to bear. With the angle he came at it from and the movement of one of the titans, the smallest one, Levi had the perfect set up to just keep going. Slice right at the nape of the neck. Levi took a deep breath and pulled out his blades right at the crest of his swing.

Momentum carried him as the cords released, and Levi spun through the air. As his blades struck the titan’s skin, they cut deep and hard, flaying the beast’s nape right from its body. The slab of skin hit the ground before the titan crumbled after it, and the steam started right after. Even then, it was no time for celebration; there were two more titans, each making their way further and further into camp the longer they all stalled. Levi turned on his heel the moment he hit the ground, ready to turn to face the other titans on his own if he had to.

That was when he saw it, and the horror struck deep. Soldiers and recruits alike were _running_ ; something about this titan, bigger than the others, was something they’d never handled. Never seen. Levi watched as it snatched one of the soldiers right out of the air. With one heft of its fist, Levi could hear the poor boy’s body break. Every bone shattered; every organ pierced. Dead. Dead and thrown to the ground instead of eaten. This one wasn’t after food, just after the kill, which made it dangerous.

Running was the only thing some of these recruits could do. Worst of all, running was about the only thing _Jenna_ could do. Levi saw her dashing atop a rooftop, one that was about to end, and the titan was right behind her.

“Jenna!” He shouted, dashing forward.

He had to get to her first. The titan was coming after her, and maybe she didn’t see it, maybe she did. Maybe her gear was broken, and she was just trying to get away from it. Levi didn’t know; he couldn’t know. All he could do was try to get to her first, so he ran across the ground and shot the cords of his gear forward to lift him up, carry him the rest of the way.

Jenna had the same idea; her gear wasn’t broken. She knew she had to get away and that it was a matter of what happened first. Even without Levi, it was still who got where first. Would the titan get to her first, or would she get away? Levi knew she had the same idea, because he watched in horror as she sent the cords of own gear out. A risky move, one that might have worked if the circumstances were different. There was so much working against them in the air, despite how much worked for them.

Levi’s world _shattered_.

The titan didn’t even take the time to _grab_ Jenna as she flew right in front of its path. If it had been any other titan, a normal titan, one that didn’t come here just to rack up a kill count, she would have made it. But this thing dove for her, mouth open and teeth chomping. Levi couldn’t get to her fast enough, and he was midair when he watched the thing bite Jenna right out of the sky, but it _missed_ her. Missed all of her. Instead of eating her right there, midair, it chewed her legs right off.

All Levi could hear was a ringing in his ear. He didn’t know when he’d change directions or what had happened, just that he was suddenly flying through the air. He wasn’t alone, either—Mikasa was there, having seen the same thing he did. The look in her eyes was one that Levi knew; he didn’t have to take care of this.

Mikasa cut it down, but revenge didn’t feel as sweet as it needed to. Not when Levi hit the ground and found himself searching desperately for Jenna. Her _body_ , he corrected himself, because how could she even possibly still be alive after that? He hoped, though. By the gods, did he hope. Even if he knew she was going to die, just seeing her alive one last time would be enough. It would have to be enough.

Levi found her equipment first, battered and chomped in half, lying out on the ground. Levi ignored it in turn for just continuing to search; Jenna couldn’t be far from here. This is where she had to have landed, which meant her _body_ was nearby. Rolled from the impact with the ground. How many bones would that have broken?

As if Levi’s heart could have broken further, his world crushed more, he felt an incredible darkness roll over him when he finally found Jenna’s body. What was left of it, anyway. Her legs were gone, chomped off at the thigh with enough force that her gear had come undone and clattered away from her. Her left arm was bent back, bone protruding from the skin, and the rest of her was bloodied. Bruised. Broken. Levi went to her anyway.

He dropped down to his knees before he grabbed Jenna, and then pulled her into his lap. Whatever had happened meant the pain was too much for her to even feel, anymore, and in her eyes, Levi found a horrible, dazed look. Like none of this was real for her, anymore, and he was about to watch her die.

“Jenna,” he rasped, cupping the side of her face.

By the way her nose was crushed against her face, Levi knew she’d landed on her front and hard. Her cheekbones were shattered, lips split and broken. Breaths came ragged out through her lips, hoarse like each one was a terrible strain. Broken ribs would do that. A punctured lung, maybe. A punctured everything. Jenna was too still, which could only mean that her ribcage was shattered. Her spine, too. There was no surviving this, and still, her eyes were open, and she looked at him.

“Levi,” she responded, her voice nothing more than a breath. “You came.”

“Of course, I came.” He grabbed her hand. Broken, like the rest of her, but she was too far gone to feel the pain when he squeezed her and held her hand to his chest. “How could you think I’d leave you?”

“Why do you sound like that?”

Levi swallowed. He sounded like he was going to cry, like his entire world was falling apart around him. Like nothing had _meaning_ anymore, and it didn’t. How Jenna was even still talking was a miracle, and Levi blessed every second he could still hear her voice.

“It’ll be okay,” he lied, stroking the side of her face. “Just wanted to see you, that’s all.”

“Oh. How nice.” Her eyelids fluttered closed, and Levi wanted to beg that she open them, once more, but he knew it was fruitless.

They were in a pool of her blood. If shock didn’t kill her first, then the bleed out would. Already, she’d lost so much blood. More blood than Levi knew a person could lose, and the mess that it made. The smell. Levi wished that it would all just go away, like this was a bad dream. Something he’d imagined in a nightmare, because that’s what it was. A nightmare. She couldn’t even touch him, as the strain was just too much. She tried, though. She tried to move her broken fingers and her broken arm.

“You’ll be okay,” Levi told her. He pulled her in closer, her head against his chest, and rocked her. “Does it hurt?”

“Nothing does,” she assured. “I feel light. Cold.”

Of course. Levi tried to hold her closer, but nothing was going to make her warm. It was just a matter of time before she stopped talking, before she went. Levi didn’t mean to count the seconds, but it was difficult not to hear the clock in the back of his mind. Every second now was a blessing. Unreal. A dream just as much as this whole thing was a nightmare. More soldiers were undoubtedly dying; Levi knew he should have left her here and finished the job, but he couldn’t bring himself to let her go.

Before he even realized it, his fingers started to shake. Her chill permeated his bones and settled in deep, like he could feel the death that came from her. He maybe had another minute with her. Sixty, pitiful seconds. All he could do was hold Jenna against his chest, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. It at least made her smile.

“I always thought of having a house in the country,” she said, and every word was slow and purposeful. “Never knew it looked so pretty. Not until I joined—” she stopped and broke off into a cough, so Levi just stroked back her bloodied hair.

“We’ll have a nice house,” he told her. “Just the two of us. Grow our own food.” It sounded nice. It sounded like a life they could never have, not as long as these titans roamed, but Jenna wouldn’t be here much longer. She didn’t need to remember it was impossible.

“Lovely,” was Jenna’s response. She peeked at Levi for what he could only assume was that last, fleeting look, because when her eyes closed again, they didn’t open again. She was too weak.

“I love you,” Levi told her. Every passing second was painful. “Do you know that?”

Jenna gave only an affirmative hum, too weak to even move her head up and down. Too weak for the words she wanted to say.

“You did so well. I saw how hard you tried. You did everything right.” Levi shook his head. If the wind had been at her side, she would have made it. If the titan had been normal, she would have made it. She did everything right.

“I’ll take care of the rest,” he whispered. “You don’t have to protect anyone anymore.”

His voice choked up, but Jenna couldn’t hear him anymore. It was with the last ounce of strength she had, the last ounce of life, that Jenna nodded. She understood, and she loved Levi just as much as he loved her. When she finally went limp in his arms, Levi laid her down on the ground and folded her arms across her chest. Then, he took the chain from around her neck and put it around his own.

“Sleep well,” he said, and leaned down to press one more kiss to her forehead. “I’ll come back for you. When it’s safe.”

He could still hear the terror all around them, and despite this gut-wrenching feeling that took him, that it would be better to just lay down and die with her, Levi stood up and brandished his blades once more. One more titan to take care of, and then Levi would be back for her. He wouldn’t let her go unburied, despite everything. It was with heavy regret that Levi turned his back on Jenna and flew away from her, but he knew he’d back. He wouldn’t forgive himself otherwise.

The sun was setting by the time Levi set the shovel aside. The titans were taken care of, and people were infirmed, bandaged, and dead. They didn’t usually take time to bury the dead; it was costly, a waste of resources, and a waste of time, but Levi wouldn’t have been able to suffer that for Jenna. Instead, he took up his own shovel and dug his own grave, as deep as he could manage it before his bones began to ache from the exhaustion. Nobody had to help him, and nobody had to know.

With the grave dug, Levi went for Jenna’s body. He’d brought it here himself, carried it with him with his gear. He laid her out gently in the grass while he dug, and now he hoisted her up. She was so much lighter than she used to be, and the grave was so much smaller than he might have dug for a full-sized person. Her legs were gone, and Levi couldn’t afford to expend more energy than necessary. Every moment he spent doing this tugged at his heart strings in ways that he wouldn’t ever admit out loud.

Tossing Jenna’s body in the grave was almost the worst part of it, despite the fact that she was _dead_. It felt so callous, like she might have seen this and accused him of not caring, but he couldn’t think of a better way to do this. Not while he was alone. This was the best he could manage, and every other ounce of energy he had left went straight into shoveling the dirt into the hole.

“I’m sorry,” Levi whispered with the first batch.

He watched the dirt crumble across her face, and Levi wished he would have had the time to clean her up, but there wasn’t time for anything. The fate of humanity was more important than one singular person, but Levi spared what he could.

With the last bit of dirt shoveled over, Levi brandished the shovel for one more final thing. There was a little patch of flowers growing nearby, and Levi pushed the shovel into the dirt to uproot them. Maybe it was cruel to the flowers, but Levi didn’t care. He didn’t have anything else to mark the grave with and leaving to find something seemed somehow crueler. He just transplanted the flowers in a quick and hasty job, patting them down into the dirt with the hopes that they might take again and grow.

Then, Levi stepped back. He just dropped the shovel on the ground and pulled his sleeves down. He folded his hands out in front of him and just took one big, hefty sigh, like that would be enough to regain his strength. He had nothing left, and Jenna’s necklace burned through his shirt and into his chest. After that, Levi only found himself alone for a few minutes.

When he glanced up, he’d been joined by others. He saw Mikasa and Armin, Erwin, and his own squad. Petra had her hands curled up against her chest and a look on her face that hurt almost worse than everything else had. Thankfully, nobody was alone here, and it was almost a sigh of relief to see Oluo put his hand on her shoulder. A comfort, and any of them would have done it for her. He was just the closest. Levi used to do the same for Jenna when she needed it, and she would do it in return.

“Do you want to say anything?” Petra asked. They all knew what had happened. Nobody needed to ask.

“No,” Levi said. “Nothing to say.”

Nobody would disrespect that, so instead of a miniature service where they all went around to say how much they cared for Jenna, they all stood in quiet remembrance. Jenna had been a quiet woman, so this would have been what she wanted. In fact, Levi could almost feel the warmth of her smile on him, and that was enough. It would have to be.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  [Update Tumblr](https://oneofwebs.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Personal Tumblr!](https://tantumuna.tumblr.com)   
>  [My Twitter!](https://twitter.com/tantumunawrites)   
> 


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